This weeks writing prompt is: Share a joke that always makes you laugh. I never tell jokes because I can't remember them and this has been true since before I got old. A lot of OLD jokes have been filling up my e-mails lately and they are funny.....sometimes.....Here are the ones that make me laugh.
You know you are old when:
Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today
Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guys with the Live Doppler 10,000.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
You know you're a grown-up because you groan every time you get up.
It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
Many of your co-workers were born the same year that you got your last promotion.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you have a choice of two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home earlier.
When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart
You and your teeth don't sleep together.
At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
AND THEN THERE IS THIS ONE.
Some 15 year old girlfriends decided to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald's next to the Sea Side Restaurant because they only had $6.50 between them and Bobby Bruce, the cute boy in science class, lived on that street.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 25-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because it had free snacks, there was no cover charge, the beer was cheap, the band was good and there were lots of cute guys.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 35-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the combos were good, it was near the gym and if they went late enough, there wouldn't be many whiny little kids.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 45-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters wore tight pants and had nice buns.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 55-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the prices were reasonable, it had widows which opened (in case of hot flashes), the wine list was good and fish was good for their cholesterol.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 65-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they had an Early Bird Special and the lighting was good.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 75-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because the food wasn't too spicy and it was handicapped accessible.
10 years later, the same girlfriends, now 85-year-olds, discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally they agreed to meet at the Sea Side Restaurant because they'd never been there before.
1.) Write about a time you had to crawl through a window. (inspired by Barb from Half Past Kissin’ Time)
2.) List of 10 shows you’re glad have seen their last day.
3.) A bad day.
4.) Share a joke that always makes you laugh.
5.) On a piece of paper write down something that makes you happy…take a photo of your paper and wa la…there’s your post.
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