Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
No Body's Sweeter,
Than R**** M****!

"Dad, we're JUST friends!"..... Eyeroll.

R and I met at church when I was about 15.  He was cute, had a Texas accent, 16, and was taller and skinnier than me.  I will admit to a crush on him, at the first of our friendship. I will also share that he gave me my first hickey, an experiment that did not involve any kissing, but caused no end of giggling and much speculation by my dad and mom.

We would talk on the phone for hours almost every night, he made me laugh, as he was funny and ironic but some times sad and angry. We shared lots of secrets but this was 1964 an innocent time for me. I got my drivers licence and I got a car when I was 16.5, we would go to the movies, church, youth meetings, etc. His parents loved me, they may have thought we were an item too. However, it was clear to me when I graduated High School, that he was one of my best friends.

My parents finally accepted, probably with relief,  we were just friends, as I started dating others, met Mr BC and got engaged. R and I drifted as we got older and I got wiser.  I actually never saw him again after my wedding. Which saddens me.

Mama Kat's prompt is: Think about your closest male friend in high school…if you had married him (or her) how would your life be different right now? Since this was a relationship, that would not have ended in marriage, it is not hard to speculate that we would be miserable. I do know that R was not always the happy individual, he seemed to be and as I would later discover.

At my 20 year High School Reunion, L, a guy that I had known since 4th grade, was proudly announcing to everyone he spoke to, that he was gay.  This did not come as a surprise to anyone, but in 1985, it was becoming the thing to do. Later in the evening, he sidled up to me, and shared conspiratorially, did I know that he and R had been Lovers for several years before, but were no longer a couple?  He seemed to be expecting shock value from his little announcement; from me. He also indicated , oddly, during the conversation that R was always, talking about me. I was surprised at this, a little, but, I certainly did not give him the reaction for which he seemed to be hoping.

I asked him what R was doing now and told him that if he spoke to him, would he give him my phone number and gave L my business card.,  With the information  L gave me, I did try to find him, but to no avail.  I never heard from either of them again.  This was the 80's and I certainly hope the reason I was unable to locate him was not because of HIV.  I tried looking for him again as I contemplated this prompt, but came up blind alleys again. I certainly hope he has found happiness and contentment in his life. I am greatful for the fun and games he brought to our misspent youth!


  1. I often think back to my first boy friend. We were just kids really. He was the one who finished the relationship and I always wondered what life would have been like with him. We met up many years later and I knew then that it would not have worked. We need to go through our experiences in order to come out the other side.

    Happy New Year to you.

  2. I enjoyed this post. It is fun to go back to Memory Lane, but I don't think I'd want to live it over again. I have two friends who have never married because they never got over "the one that got away" and no one since has ever lived up to the inflated memory of that one love. To me, that is rather sad.

    That being said, as I get older I do regret not staying in touch with old friends ---and in the last 2 years, I have been in contact 4 old boyfriends ---not with any intention of renewing any old relationships. I'm happily married. I read an article about one in a college alumni newsletter and sent an email to say "hi" & received a nice reply. While searching for people for a reunion, I ran across the name of an old flame and on a whim looked him up and we talked briefly and email occasionally. A third contacted me and we have talked on the phone three times over 2 years and keep planning on getting together for lunch, but we are both busy and plans keep falling through. The 4th was a boyfriend I had when I lived in Brazil more than 40 years ago. I returned to Brazil for the first time in August. We had a tough time getting together as he was on a business trip most of the time I was nearby. Finally, I took a bus to another city. The only stop along the way was in his town, so he met the bus and we spoke for about 10 minutes and then I was on my way.

    As I look back, I don't think I would have been happy with any of them for very long. But none of the break-ups were bitter and I'm not one to hold a grudge. In every case, the guys were friends as well as boyfriends, so I am comfortable contacting them without romantic intentions cropping up.

    I'm not much of a poet but I couldn't resist writing a "purple" poem for Mama Kat ---mainly because I had the perfect story to tell and lots of purple photos to go with it. You can read it here:

  3. I met my first boyfriend when I was 14 and he was 15. We split and didn't see each other for 8 years, then we bumped into each other. We got married two years later and we've just celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary. :)

  4. I ran into my first boyfriend once a few years after our break-up. I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant/ married.

    When I tried to excuse myself after chatting for a while because I felt like i was going to pop he got all snotty with me.

    Kinda ruined my fantasy that I would have this fabulous body when we met and he'd regret our breakup not to mention it crushed my recollections of just how nice he really was back then.

  5. I'm still friends with most of my exes &'i can say that most of them were marriage material...even if not for me. This was an interesting prompt. I can't even imagine completely losing track of someone I was once so close to. It has to be difficult to have so many unanswered questions about R.

  6. What bittersweet memory. It is sad that you can't locate your friend!

  7. This post made me giggle... your first hickey! What a milestone!

    There are a few friends from high school that I wish I had kept in better contact with... friends that finally helped me a find a niche in a new school. I'll always look back at those years and remember them!

  8. I'm in a similar situation, one where I can't find that one person I spent so many long nights talking to. He seems to have vanished and it is bizarre.

    Akelamalu's comment made me smile.

  9. It's great that you have those memories of him.

    I have seen the guy I used to be best friends with. I never have the courage to speak to him though because we did date briefly and I broke up with him. I just thought we were better friends. But unfortunately, our friendship ended right after I broke up with him.

  10. First hickey, SO CUTE.You even got me wondering what my first crush is up too :)

  11. Thanks for sharing. Stopping by from Mama Kat. This also made me think of fun times with a close guy friend in high school, and how for a long time I also had no idea what had become of him & was worried about his health. (In my friend's case, it was drugs.) I had luck finding my old friend and felt relieved that he was well and fairly happy. I wish that one day you may find your friend as well.

  12. Precious memories. Sure hope they are doing well now too. Happy New Year :)

  13. What a sweet post. I certainly hope he is okay too. I still keep in touch with several of my old high school male friends. Some of who were boyfriends in school. We are all just good friends now. They have all met hubby and they all get along.